Why do I feel fat? This is why...

Wear the right clothes, you look fine-to other people.
You're NOT chubby, you look fine-to other people.
You're a great size for having 3 kids-to other people.

I don't CARE WHAT other people think of how I look. It's what I think. It's how I feel. I'm not looking to go down to pre-pregnancy weight. I'd look ridiculous. I just want to feel good about myself when I'm with my husband. He loves me this way. It's MY issue. My feelings. MY body image.

I want to wear my regular old size 6 jeans and NOT have a muffin top for Gods sake. I want to be able to wear a tighter fitting top without having to suck in my stomach all day long.

But.

How far am I will to go? That's the real question.

Baby Steps

Yesterday I burned 520 calories on the treadmill. Ran at times, walked mostly. My calves are achy right now-but it's because I did a naughty thing...I ran on it with no shoes. I know, it's horrible. But the dog chewed my ONLY pair of sneakers and since that's the only time I ever wear sneakers....I just haven't bought any. And to tell the truth, it's more comfortable to me to walk on it with no shoes.

Weigh-in last friday was bad. I was still at 133.5. So no change in a week. I'm hoping to get rid of 2 pounds this week. Hoping hoping hoping!!