Why do I feel fat? This is why...

Wear the right clothes, you look fine-to other people.
You're NOT chubby, you look fine-to other people.
You're a great size for having 3 kids-to other people.

I don't CARE WHAT other people think of how I look. It's what I think. It's how I feel. I'm not looking to go down to pre-pregnancy weight. I'd look ridiculous. I just want to feel good about myself when I'm with my husband. He loves me this way. It's MY issue. My feelings. MY body image.

I want to wear my regular old size 6 jeans and NOT have a muffin top for Gods sake. I want to be able to wear a tighter fitting top without having to suck in my stomach all day long.

But.

How far am I will to go? That's the real question.

Baby Steps

Yesterday I burned 520 calories on the treadmill. Ran at times, walked mostly. My calves are achy right now-but it's because I did a naughty thing...I ran on it with no shoes. I know, it's horrible. But the dog chewed my ONLY pair of sneakers and since that's the only time I ever wear sneakers....I just haven't bought any. And to tell the truth, it's more comfortable to me to walk on it with no shoes.

Weigh-in last friday was bad. I was still at 133.5. So no change in a week. I'm hoping to get rid of 2 pounds this week. Hoping hoping hoping!!

I got uninspired...133

You know how reading peoples blogs can inspire you? Fire you up for a new beginning? Well after reading Ms New Booty's blog I feel REALLY uninspired.

I don't know-I just hate exercising. I haaaaate it. And circumstances right now are not set that I can join a gym. And frankly I am plenty ok with that. But how in the world do you lose weight without working out? It just can't happen. Yea I can lose some weight with my diet. Of course. But then it's like...alright-I still got flab and I jiggle. I have no steady motivation whatsoever.

I'd rather get together with friends than go to the gym. I'd rather CLEAN for goodness sake.

UGH. And I'm at 133 which isn't all *too* bad. We have company this week so we've been out to eat more than usual.

131.5

Now that is a change I can get on board with! In 15 days I've lost 7.5 pounds!!! I know it'll start to slow down, but it's fine. I only have 17 pounds left to lose. I have no desire to eat junk whatsoever. Although, I'm going to a kids birthday party on Sunday and I know they'll be junky food there...I will eat some-but not like I normally would.

I'm going away to Savannah, GA with 25 friends to a great HUGE house downtown in March...and dangit-I will be able to wear my skinny clothes by then!! I want to lose at LEAST 15 more pounds by the time we go. That's 2 pounds a week. I can do it. Easy peasy. Right? :)

I hate resolutions...

But I made 3 this year. One being to lost 20 pounds. I started the year off weighing 139. VOMIT. As of Sunday night I was at 132.5.

I wanted to get into a habit of exercising with a friend but last week everyone I knew was sick...so none of that. Today I was supposed to get back on it, but had errands to run...then I didn't feel like it. I know, it's terrible.

I've been doing AWESOME with my eating though. I've only had chocolate TWICE so far and it was just a small handful of M&M's to cure my craving. I've had hardly any junk food and really-don't even want it.

I'm doing the Biggest Loser on my mom message board, so that is a great motivation. C is also doing Biggest Loser at work, so we are up against each other too. :)